The Crying Holiday: The best yet worst present

Announcing pregnancy on Christmas day is the worst present a struggling couple can receive. Christmas is supposed to be a joyous holiday and when pregnancy news is announced it leaves a bitter taste in our mouths. We want to be happy for the Holiday as it an amazing start to the salvation story of Jesus. However, it has also forced us to think about the birth of Jesus all holiday season. Toying with our emotions of whether or not God will give us a miracle child. Then, bam, out of no where and announcement of a happy couples pregnancy throws us off our game and our already tense holiday that was hanging in the balance falters. We have the Christmas blues and must now find a way to either A: keep up the charade of a joyous Holiday or B: Retreat home where we put on our pjs and curl up under the covers vowing not to come out until well after the New Year sometime in Spring.

Don’t get me wrong. I am extremely happy for the mother-to-be. However, it is going to take me a while to put on my graciously happy for you not at all sad that I am still not pregnant face. Given the close personal relationship with the mother-to-be, I would have hoped for a more sensitive approach to such news. Not in the middle of Christmas celebrations.

My husband and I spent the rest of the evening in tears and trying to ignore the pains of infertility.

It is hard not to judge. I know as a Christian we aren’t supposed to judge, but it isn’t always easy. Especially when you want to be parents. You see the teenager that is pregnant out of wedlock, the woman on welfare with her 3rd baby by a different man, the mom who is a drug addict, etc. You can’t help but think… why? Why do they get to have a baby and I don’t?

Then you have a couple who has also been struggling with fertility issues (Although not as long as you have.) where one of the couple (or both) is opposed to adoption. When they get pregnant…it cuts like a knife. You know that you are willing to adopt, but adoption is expensive. You are still trying to conceive while opening up your heart to God’s will to adopt a child in need…then wham! the couple who won’t even consider adoption gets pregnant within 3 months of trying fertility treatment.

Your heart sinks. Especially when the announcement is made on Christmas and you know it’s a pregnancy you can’t avoid. You are going to be there for the next several holidays, the baby shower, etc. You are stuck with this pregnancy. Merry Christmas, you’re an aunt-to-be….but you’ll not a mother yet.

The best yet worst present.